You can always count on The Guardian bloggers and “reporters” to let the asininity flow from their mouths, or their keyboards. Never fails. This one starts out with part of it’s header stating “If I were king for a day”.
Okay! Right there, with the TITLE we have a problem. Every Kingdom falls to apathy, narcissism, corruption, and power mad insane asylum inmates with delusions of grandeur. Guess we can put this idiot on the list. As usual my words in italic and the op in regular font.
The absolute power to do anything, but for one day only. Not enough time to eradicate poverty, find a cure for cancer or ensure parity of esteem between academic and vocational education. I could turn QPR into Premier League champions, but it’s important not to stray into fantasy.
I would point out that with the words “if I were king for a day” you are ALREADY straying into fantasy, and delusional dictatorial fantasy at that. You can NOT eradicate poverty you hopeless imbecile. Poverty has ALWAYS been with us. Always will be. There will always be those who excel over others. To deny that is, irrational and shows someone with the mind of a control freak. To demonize those who excel is evil, and while showing someone with the mind of a control freak, also shows someone who wants to dominate all others. Parity between academic and vocational education? Hmmm….when one epitomizes delusional fantasy with Masters Degrees in “Women’s Studies” and folks with those degrees racking up high 5 and low 6 figure debts to get those degrees, and thus expecting people and companies to pay exhorbitant salaries which those degrees do NOT deserve? When the educational makes fun of and holds in contempt the Vocational, because the Vocational actually teaches USEFUL needed skills for jobs and employment areas that cry out for more people? ROFLOL.
As for cancer..well we’ll get there eventually hopefully soon. Along with a host of other diseases.
One thing: a single proclamation; a dictat that required no pandering to public opinion or consultation with a focus group. It’s simple. I’d ban Coca-Cola and all its offshoots, lookalikes and variants.
What’s the matter little faux Julius Ceasar? You didn’t listen, didn’t take care of yourself and lost all the teeth in your head while imbibing huge quantities of the stuff as a kid? It’s called consequences you twit. You are supposed to learn from them, not learn to impose your will on others necessarily.
I considered restricting my banning order to consumption by the under-25s. Sloshing this sugary chemical into the throats of children has no beneficial effect whatsoever. If fluoride gives poor kids rich kids’ teeth, cola can do the opposite. It neither quenches thirst nor increases energy. It’s responsible for damaged teeth, thicker waistlines and lighter purses.
It’s called “Freedom of Choice” you ignorantly pontificating, diktat issuing dilettante moron. Without freedom to choose, how you eat/drink etc etc, how you live etc etc…all your living in is a dictator ship. Or a cage. Here’s the true clue. They have, in places like New York City…tried to ban Cigarettes by making them too expensive to afford with ridiculous high taxes on them. So what’s happened? There’s a black market in cigarettes brought in from out of state and sold without the taxes on them. Thereby making criminals out of otherwise law abiding folks, because someone like YOU got a bug up their ass about how evil, or unnecessary something is.
Its eradication would have a positive effect on educational attainment and improve behaviour in the classroom. Ideally, the ban would be accompanied by the introduction of free healthy meals in every primary school. (I note that this is now Lib Dem policy. It was introduced in Hull 10 years ago and then scrapped by an incoming Lib Dem administration.)
Actually old boy, no it wouldn’t. The problem isn’t sodas and snack foods available to kids and everyone else. It’s brain damaged morons like you who would try to control every facet of peoples daily lives, for their own good of course. Of course you know better than everyone else, even when you don’t have a single inkling, not even a HINT of a clue. As far as “free healthy meals” in the schools? Where does the money for those meals come from? You flea ridden donkey. Could it possibly come from those who actually pay taxes? Gasp! Now there’s a novel concept. It isn’t free if someone else is paying for it! It just means it isn’t coming out of your own pocket. You result of a dalliance between a disease ridden whore and a passing mongrel dog who your mother fancied.
But why restrict these benefits to children? My power allows me to save adults from themselves; to push them towards healthier beverages such as rooibos tea and mango juice – or good old Adam’s Ale, that marvellous, refreshing drink that’s free at the tap (and expensive at the supermarket). As king of the world I would make this ban international. The global power of a huge corporation would be removed at a stroke.
Sigh…and here boys and girls our imbecilic dilettante continues on in the same vein. He wants to take away your freedom to eat something or drink something as a guilty pleasure. Take away your freedom to choose whether you allow your children a snack. Taking away your children’s freedom to choose. All while pushing upon you, his favorite things, while denying you yours. It’s all for your own good of course my fellow germs and virii because diktat issuing donkeys like that know better than you do what you want and whats best for you. Let me give you another example. I love the smell of spaghetti. I can not however stand the taste or texture of it. I used to just dislike it, but many years ago in my teenage years something happened which made me absolutely LOATHE it. One day my parents had to go somewhere for part of the day. So my Aunt, whom I love, and my Uncle, whose grave I won’t condescend to piss on when he dies, came over with my cousins to baby sit me and my younger sister for the day. My sister loves spaghetti. Now upon that day, my aunt asked us kids what we wanted for lunch. My sister said spaghetti and my cousins were like”YEAH!” So Aunt fixed spaghetti. No meatballs either. Which might have made it more palatable to me under duress, but that’s highly debatable. I said that I didn’t want spaghetti, that I would just make myself a peanut butter sandwich for which my parents always bought me one specific and favorite brand for me and no other; and also always made sure there was plenty of bread in the house. Or make myself a cheeseburger pr something when she was done. [momma taught me to fend for myself in the kitchen at an early age] Nope. my uncle, the domineering asshole, Who could in his own mind fall into a vat of shit, and come out smelling of rose petals, made me eat it. I ate a little bit and went into my room, which is where I stayed til my parents came home. After uncle fucknuts left I made a sandwich. When the texture and taste [in my case it was predominantly is the texture] of something makes a person want to vomit, you do not force them to eat it. Get me?
When I was at secondary school, our geography teacher, Mr Woosnam, would show reel-to-reel cine films from exotic and remote parts of the world. They often had a car rally involving a driver named Paddy Hopkirk. The film would flicker from a huge projector on to a shaky white screen or the classroom wall. One image was common to them all – the Coca-Cola sign hanging off the corner of a ramshackle shop. Whether it was a Peruvian city or a clearing somewhere in Africa, that white lettering on a red background was ubiquitous.
Of course it was and IS ubiquitous. Coke had a good line “give the world a coke” and a tasty treat. What the hell is wrong with that? Nothing, nothing is wrong with that. Unless your a micromanaging statist gas bag of course.
That was in the early 1960s. Goodness knows how its reach has expanded since. Amazonian tribes making contact with the outside world for the first time will probably emerge from the jungle clutching that familiarly shaped bottle. As a symbol of socially useless power it is rivalled only by those investment bank products that Adair Turner drew attention to.
Ah so it’s socially useless. And I’m soo sure that tribes that live deep in the forests and mountains with no electricity or running water are trading trinkets with the eeeevil white man for cases of coke.. In case you can’t place the tone of my voice , that’s DERISION. Look it up in the dictionary.
On this one day, my power will exceed theirs. Coca-Cola would disappear, irrespective of its attempts to make itself respectable by producing a “diet” version. A great gushing waterfall would release it into sealable caverns previously reserved for nuclear waste, with a proportion kept back to be used for steam-cleaning heavy machinery. The result will be an army of happy children marching forward together, eyes bright, teeth gleaming; instead of teaching the world to sing, they will teach it to stop consuming sugar. Humanity will be all the sweeter for it.
Actually contrary to common belief, the Diet is worse for you than the straight swill. It’s actually pretty good for cleaning battery terminals in vehicles I’ve found. A little soda and a scrub brush. By the way you horse humping fuckwit. Your body NEEDS sugar! Your body needs sugar for energy. What it doesn’t use immediately it stores away later for a boost. It needs a certain amount of sugar, in either the simple sugar variations like table sugar and honey; or in the complex sugars when your body breaks down carbohydrates..for fuel to run it. Most things we eat or drink can kill us. Geez, you asinine, aging, authoritarian, little el Jefe. You can die from drinking too much water. As with everything else we imbibe or ingest…the toxicity is in the dose. To quote one of America’s greatest statesmen. “No man can put a chain about the ankle of his fellow man, without at last finding the other end fastened around his own neck.” Tis a pity how man fail to heed that lesson. Now go hump a caged animal at the zoo or a knothole in the fence; and leave the rest of us alone. You mangy hydrocephalic hyena.