Mizzou admissions hurt by racebating shitstains

Wait…hold on *points at my face* This is my shocked face….NOT  Gonna reprint the article in full with very few snarky comments because the article pretty much says it for me. article in italic
From an article on investors.com :
Racial Politics: The University of Missouri thought it could win black students’ hearts and minds by throwing its president to the race-mongering wolves. But it only lost future enrollees with such shameless appeasement.

Uhhh…let me guess…they thought wrong?

Mizzou is lamenting a sudden drop-off in student applications. Freshman applications in 2015 fell 5% from the previous year, while graduate student applications plunged 19%. Mizzou officials cite racial protests that rocked the school last fall.

*points* Again my not shocked face.

Egged on by Black Lives Matter agitators, racial tension on the campus erupted in September after the black student body president and other activists lodged a vague complaint of an unspecified racial slur shouted at a single black student allegedly by a passing motorist. The activists weren’t even sure if the offending person was a student there.

Then there was a report of a tiny swastika drawn on the wall of a dormitory bathroom in a dormitory. No one’s sure if it was intended to insult Jews or blacks.

No matter, students of color insisted the two incidents symbolized the “systematic oppression” experienced by them at the university. And so they demanded President Tim Wolfe step down. And he did, followed by the chancellor. Both of them are white.

What were their racist crimes? They didn’t move fast enough on their own pre-protest plan to promote diversity , though efforts had already begun on an online diversity training program. Activists also complained Wolf had the nerve to choose to not get out and talk to a threatening mob after it surrounded and blocked the convertible he was riding in during a homecoming parade.


Yeah he dared to get out and talk to a mindless mob that could only shout equally mindless and stupid slogans and half assed platitudes. Sigh the world is going to hell in a handbasket and these under educated, over privileged mental defectives are worried about non existent problems.  It’s like an argument I had with a friend over the term Chicoms once.  She saw it as racist. I said…nope. It’s a short derivative of the term Chinese Communist which is not a race it’s a fucking political philosophy, and has been in use since…well hell since longer than I’ve been alive.


Tensions boiled over. Black students staged hunger strikes, and African-American football players threatened to boycott games until Wolf left. Groups of blacks cordoned off areas that were off-limits to white students.

The militancy scared off parents and students. Enrollment declines are so bad that officials are calling accepted students to encourage them to attend.

Clearly, pandering to race-baiters has backfired. Yet other colleges haven’t learned the painful lesson. Last week, Tom Rochon, the white head at Ithaca College, quit over phony charges of racism drummed up by race-mongers. His resignation came after months-long protests over claims of “racial injustice” at the school.

These misguided militants are cutting off their noses to spite their face. By hurting enrollment, they’re jeopardizing resources and scholarship money that could help African-American students.

So just so we get this straight…the colleges are now being held hostage at the point of non existent gun.  Okay okay so they’re being held hostage at point of lawsu…No fuck it. They’re being held hostage by asinine, half assed terroristic threat and bad press.  By incompetent, temper tantrum throwing, diaper wearing. snot dripping, red faced screaming infants in need of a long overdue spanking.    A very small percentage of a small percentage of the population.  Get something straight. Blacks…comprise ohhh..iirc at this point it might have risen but at last census but not by much is 14%  So to appease a very small vocal, infinitesimal  subset of that 14%…you piss off the other 86% of the population?!   Along with one suspects a fair portion of that 14%?  What the fuck is wrong with people?   With schools? With…well with everything really? Can I point out yet again that the film Idiocracy was supposed to be a comedy film? Not a prophetic, desirable and fulfillable vision of the future?!  *facepalm* I need a strong alcoholic beverage and the day isn’t even half over yet


Bookstores, the industry and shooting yourself in the foot.

Verily friends, enemies…frenemies, general haters and book family of the world…lets talk. *danger will robinson! danger!  I’ve been distracted all over the place lately and it’s late and past my bedtime so if I wander…bear with me.*    I have in the last ohhh..10 minus give or take,  been made aware of a possible campaign. A campaign to get bookstores to not carry certain authors…because well….they aren’t part of the right think crowd, don’t agree with what the right think crowd espouses and just generally refuses to kiss their ass. In point of fact said authors and their fans such as myself… go out of our way to disabuse said right thinkers of their notions.

I will point out the fatal flaw in their strategy if someone is in fact engaged in this.  It turns out that on Jim C. Hines blog…quite a few of his top posts were puppy related. he posted a round up here.  I’ll point something out to Mr Hines…dude! Why so seriously sad man?  You got a boost in traffic! Also one assumes an assload of arguments in the comments. What is an ass load anyway? Is it a metric of how much the fat in your average sized ass cheeks weighs, that is then used a unit of measure for weight?  For that matter what is the metric for a fuck ton? Is it more than a standard ton? How much more?  Eh I digress…sorry. *you were warned.*   Anyway.. forsooth man you got traffic and ping back galore for the puppy related posts. Also one guesses…you might have netted some new readers out of it;  both of the blog and your books.  Well we know you got a spike in your blog readership. Only you can tell us if there was a corresponding up tick or spike in your book sales.

Back to the topic at hand.  There’s a post over on  File 770  a comment was made. In the interests of saving ya’ll time of scrolling through the commentary to find it. here it is…with the random other stuff from the comment snipped out.

Responding at random…
I’ve talked to a couple of book store owners in Toronto and someone is sending out Jim Hines roundup of the SP/RP affair. As a result, they are stopping making orders for Correia, Wright, Torgersen, Williamson and others of the worst broadcasters who have supported homophobic statements. I would assume the originator is part of Toronto’s gay community (which was oddly intertwined for years when Baka Books and the GLAAD bookstore were next door). It’s only the independents that I’ve heard so far, but if it hits Book City or Indigo, that could be a big repercussion.
I wonder if Dex has given thought to the rebound on this.  I’ll grant you this in in toronto so it doesn’t matter to me personally since I’m in the good ol U.S. of A.   This campaign, if it exists? This is a good way to kill brick and mortar bookstores for my money.  Or at the very least hurt their bottom line. Why? Because if you piss off enough of your customers by refusing to carry what they want…they go elsewhere and your company coffers start to shrink.  I find it laughable that Dex thinks any of these aforementioned authors are Homophobic. I also find the idea of said campaign laughable.  I wonder if Dex has read any of them.  I wonder if Dex read any of them if Dex read past the first chapters?  One tends to doubt it.   Or mayhap they are homophobic because they don’t right think. They say what they mean, pull no punches, can call bullshit, bullshit.   See this killing bookstores thing has happened before.  Mostly it tends to be competition just slaughtering the competition. Either because one is closer to more customers, or has through word of mouth been told to have more friendly, actually helpful staff…etc etc.  I was in the book industry on the retail side of it so I’ve witnessed this shit first hand.  This however is character assassination..Let me tell you a tale quick like. Back in ancient times…up through ohhh the late 90’s  There used to be a host of smaller bookstores. 2 chains in particular. B Dalton and Waldenbooks. Now, I’m  not too sure what happened on the B. Dalton side but I witnessed the Waldenbooks destruction from within. See Walden used to be owned by a corporation named…Kmart. Perhaps you’ve heard of them  They for reasons of money problems iirc; sold out their wholly owned subsidiary..Waldenbooks to an up and coming and popular big box bookstore chain called…Borders.  Anyone ever shopped there?  I had a love hate relation ship with Borders.  AFter I left Walden after they took over and they closed them all..I still shopped at borders because I knew the staff at couple of the stores . [fellow former walden employees at one, and one was literally 5 damn minutes from my door]  After Borders took over they went about the systematic destruction of the company..by making bad changes that don’t work well with smaller format stores.In this case this ‘campaign’, if it exists is going after a set of authors the campaigner either has been told is baaad…or doesn’t like politically. Because as aforementioned they don’t ‘right think’ As a consequence they’re going after a large group of readers….who will…just go elsewhere.   Amazon mostly.  Which is where I get the bulk of my stuff now, anyway because with space constraints I buy mostly Ebook nowadays.  Seeing as  how this campaign is limited at the moment to small bookstores in Toronto…and I’m not sure how much of the aforementioned authors fans are in that area…might not matter a hill of beans to the stores involved. I don’t know. I know if this spreads…and gains popularity? It could blow up in the campaigner’s face, backfire.  Hell it could possibly destroy what’s left of chain bookstores if it goes way big. Walden and B Dalton gone for a long time. Borders gone for years…and the last of the big boys still standing B&N, closing store after store, year after year.   Though in the main that last one is due to the rise of ebook and e reader popularity.  I don’t see book stores cutting their own throats this way though…not if they wanna stay in business.  OTOH bookstores and publishers alike can do stupid shit like anyone else so..*shrug* we’ll see.

At any rate…the campaigner Dex speaks of should be careful of the law of unintended consequences.  This campaign could very well bite them in the ass.


27 people murdered with guns on Christmas Day? Hmmmm

I’m shocked. fucking shocked in the following fucking article I’m about to briefly dissect the fuck out of that once again the Progressive Propaganda Ministry is playing moral equivalence games. As if the guns themselves killed people. As if most of these weren’t gangland or criminal act related and NOT average citizens shooting someone.  As if stricter laws would have made one whit of difference to the criminals.  As if…stricter gun laws…would have made one whit of goddamn difference to those slaughtered like cattle in San Bernadino.  Yet folks were with in an hour or so of the news breaking pontificating that ‘oh if ONLY we had stricter gun laws the criminals wouldn’t have been able to get those awful guns!’ ignoring that California HAS all those laws. ETc ETc ad nauseum.  No. Seriously,  these people make me wanna vomit. For the record he no where states in this piece that guns must be regulated/banned.   Although  I believe from teh tone of the article it’s bloody well implied.  As usual I’m in italics.  Lets play…

In a grim reminder that violence in America never takes a holiday, 27 people were killed and 63 injured in shooting incidents on Christmas Day this year, according to the Gun Violence Archive. This tally does not include people who shot themselves in suicide.

Hmmm yes yes…death in point of fact, never takes a holiday. People die every day. Whining about one particular manner in how they die as if it’s so much worse than others,  makes you look like an infant screaming because it dropped it’s binky.  Oh  lets take a look at the Gun Violence Archive website .  A website that categorically states in it’s about section that
“GVA is not, by design an advocacy group. The mission of GVA is to document incidents of gun violence and gun crime to provide raw, verified data to those who need to use it in their research, advocacy or writing.”  Yet they list the federal and state congressional districts in which the murders happen at the bottom of each incident report. Now I suppose I should give them the benefit of the doubt that they don’t in fact fall firmly on the “ban/regulate” all guns side of the argument…but even on short sleep I’m fucking skeptical.   
I’m shocked however…SHOCKED I Tell you to see that the author of this article actually had the moral and intellectual fortitude to NOT include suicide in the number of deaths mentioned in his article.  As so many might choose to do. 

The number of Americans killed in gun homicides on Christmas Day is comparable to the number of people killed in gun homicides in an entire year in places like Australia or Britain. The 27 people killed by guns in America on Christmas this year is equal to the total number of people killed in gun homicides in an entire year in Austria, New Zealand, Norway, Slovenia, Estonia, Bermuda, Hong Kong and Iceland, combined.

Sigh …yes yes…lets list a bunch of fucking countries in which murder with a gun supposedly didn’t happen all the while ignoring, demographics,as well as legal differences between countries…as in the way crimes are reported in the stats each year.   Forex…England? Unless you get tried, convicted and sentenced on murder charges…then even if you murdered someone….it doesn’t go in the national crime stats…as murder.  However lets ignore the 2 murders I can pull up in 20 seconds or less in England on Christmas eve and day.  One in which someone killed a an elderly man in his home. By setting fucking fire to it.   The article is short on info as are most articles, however   4 other souls made it out of the house but kinda forgot about the old man in their running out.   Poor bastard.    Oh yeah and lets compare apples and ora…no not orange; apples and POTATOES!  Seeing as how as pointed out by a friend…not a single one of those COUNTRIES can match the population density of say…NYC?

Then there was the christmas eve murder at a party. In which a man was stabbed to death after an argument at a party. Ow ow ow. Stabbing, multiple stabbing hurts boys and girls.    I love this bit from the article
“Senior Investigating Officer, Superintendent Nora Holford, said: ‘Although this is very shocking news for the community, I would urge them not to be alarmed, and we are working closely with them to reassure them.”    I’m actually sitting here shaking my head and giggling at that bit of asininity.   Because boys and girls….being stabbed to death and either being burned to death or suffocating in a fire are ‘so much better, than you know being killed with an eeebil gun. The English and others apparently think so.   Anyway lets look at some of the incidents shall we?

The dead included the parents of a young child who were shot during a robbery in Columbus, Ohio.
“Victor F. Mendez Paredes, 21, and Sayuri Casas Yerena, 18, were shot multiple times in a suspected robbery at the Wynds apartment complex on Courtside Road on the East Side. Both were shot as they sat in a car in the parking lot, Columbus police said. ”

Hmmm murder in the commission of a crime by a criminal. One presumably with a criminal record as long as my arm…therefore not allowed to own a firearm.  Yep…more gun laws would have helped there…feel bad for the child though. There are a couple other shootings in there in this same article  and oh look…shot by a perp during the commission of a crime.
a young couplekilled in their vehicle in the early morning hours near Augusta, Maine

Oh gee more people killed by criminals in the commission of a crime. what a shocker


the owner of a barbershop in Alabama who was known as “a strong voice against crime” in the community, according to local news reports.

One suspects since he was shot 2x in the back and once in the head for the coup de grace…this was in the nature of an execution by the criminal class for his daring to speak out against them.


At least two of the Christmas Day shootings qualified as mass shooting incidents with four or more people shot.
Noooo..say it ain’t so!

In one, a two-year old girl and three teenagers were injured in a shooting in a high-crime neighborhood in Jacksonville, Fla.

Ah gangbanger spray and pray by career thugs.

Later that night in Mobile, Ala., four teenagers were shot by two gunmen outside a movie theater.

and what we have here are more teenage thug wanna be’s shooting a couple other teenagers.  I’ll give the ones who were shot the benefit of the doubt at the moment as to whether or not they’re also wanna be’s. 


So far this year, we’ve averaged roughly 36 gun fatalities and 73 gun injuries each day, according to the Gun Violence Archive. So the Christmas Day tally represents something of a temporary de-escalation in the violence, but not a huge one

Wait…soooo what you and these numbers suggest is that even CRIMINALS take a holiday off. Holy fucking shit. Stop the Press! Wait…never mind this genius who wrote the article AIN’T Vicki Vale and even if he was a woman and was her…I’d still eviscerate her for her stupidity. I’d also still ask for a date and her number, but I digress. Back to the article

This year has brought renewed attention to the problem of mass shooting incidents in America. But the spate of Christmas Day violence is a reminder that many more people are killed and injured in a relentless daily drumbeat of gun crime that barely makes the headlines.

What do you mean ‘renewed attention’?  How can it be renewed attention when you, your paper and the rest of the Massively Shady Media…never  shut up about it?  Oh and problem? WHAT problem?  Do you realize that among our major crime stats;  murder is by FAR the lowest number on the books!  An infinitesimal percentage.  Oh and  “mass murders” an even MORE infinitesimal percentage of THAT infinitesimal percentage?  Yes I suspect you do but it doesn’t fit yours and the governments narrative.    Our Murder rate falls between .004-.009% every year; and since you probably forgot your math studies boyo…that’s 4 to 9 THOUSANDTHS of ONE percent!   Oh that’s number of people murdered each year as a percentage of population. Wait…What?!  Murder barely makes the headlines?  *scratches my head*  Really? You can sit there and TYPE this , this…STUPID, contradictory  statement with a straight face?  Seriously? After going through and listing several murders that made the headlines ;[3 out of 4 by the way crimes committed by actual criminals] while linking to a site that lists even more murders and backs that list up with even MORE fucking news stories, you can sit there and say murder doesn’t make, or “barely makes” the headlines?  I am astounded, flummoxed, pole axed, shocked, STUNNED even, at the lack of  logical thought in that article.  Also stunned at the lack of honesty in that statement. Well okay not really since I don’t expect honesty from the PPM but…*shrug*

I could keep going but I think ya’ll get the point.


Annnyway. here’s the link to the original article/op ed



The Idiocracy is here….

That’s right. I’m stating unequivocally, that the world as postulated in the comedy film Idiocracy…is HERE.  Sigh…and it’s gaining ground.

“but. but..how can you say this?”  I hear you ask?

Exhibit one…
idiocracy in oberlin and vassar colleges

A video in which at a professor at Oberlin blithely states “The Constitution in every day life causes people pain.”

A video in which a professor at Vassar when the “student” asks if they can shred The Constitution because it triggers them and causes a panic attack says “sure” and then goes with the student and pulls the pocket constitution apart page by page and feeds it into a shredder.

A video in which another Professor says “The Constitution is an oppressive document. The Constitution makes changes slow; it intends to make changes slow”

No fucking shit lady! Yes it was intended to make the march of the government to it’s probable eventual march to dictatorship as slow as possible and give the people a chance to stop that march dead in it’s tracks!   Sigh…idiots like these…good little feminists and marxists…are your students teachers boys and girls.  I call them idiots because that was stalin’s name for them…Useful Idiots. Folks who after their usefulness was done, were put up against a wall and shot along with rest of us or otherwise…disappeared.  This also goes for the students who sign these petitions.

Same people made the previous video getting professors/admins at Yale, Syracuse and Cornell to do the same thing

Exhibit 2.  Here we are AGAIN at Yale University
To repeal the first amendment

Yep lets repeal the 1st amendment because then you’ll REALLY have safe spaces. Behind stone walls and razor wire……*headdesk*

Here’s a pretty good response to that stupidity…
I love this response!

Exhibit the 3rd.
Oh yes we also must be made safe from the evils of the song White Christmas because it promotes racism. Makes it sound like only White is good and all other colors are baaaad and it’s a microaggression..
18 young morons signed this one…

It’s a song about…Christmas and SNOW you fucking morons!

Again..18 signatures in about an hour at George Mason University. Apparently the students the  33000+ students GMU might be smarter than their  12000+ contemporaries at Yale.  OTOH it could be GMU having more than double the students means he would have gotten the same 50+ signatures the 1st amendment petition got at Yale…if he’d added an extra hour to his time on campus as an adjustment for the difference in student enrollment sizes.

Exhibit the 4th?
Oh yeah the 2000+ page Omnibus bill to fund the federal government for another year which…I’m betting most of the people who voted YES on it…never read.  In the case of the Dems it’s just them voting in lockstep with their party like good mindless  obedient little drones.  I’m at a loss to explain the republicans that voted for it though.  2000+ pages of ‘we don’t know what’s in it we just voted for it’ funding. Or a variation on “We have to vote on it, to find out whats in it” [I hope that quote haunts Pelosi, Reid and the rest of their ilk until they fucking die. I doubt it though..]

Oooohhhhhh!  Did I mention CISA is buried in this omnibus funding bill?  You remember CISA don’t you? The bill that would give the feds power to seize info without wants or warrants?  Forces companies to turn over emails and client information to the feds upon request? Again with no warrant needed?  Yeah that particular abortion of our fundamental freedoms and 1st amendment rights was in the bill too.  Section N..page….1876 I believe it was when I looked at it the other day.   It’s called The Cybersecurity Act of 2015.  Sounds impressive and meant to protect us don’t it?  *headdesk, headdesk, headdesk*

So again I say…The Idiocracy is at hand!  Along with Orwell’ s 1984 and Animal Farm .  Along with to a smaller extent it seems, Bradbury’s Farenheit 451.  At least it seems on our college campuses and else where.

I’ll note a couple things..

1. Idiocracy was supposed to be a comedic film to entertain you; NOT some fucking prophecy you were supposed to fulfill you fucking morons!
2.Farenheit, Animal Farm and 1984 were supposed to be tales of warning. What we were supposed to avoid, NOT mother fucking instruction manuals you goose stepping, sig heiling, moronic, incompetent assholes!


Gotta love instapundit.

I do actually. Lots of fun those that know me though, know I could never post there because of my propensity for profanity and insults based upon bodily functions and excretions.  However…this is my  house and my rules so lets play.. the assholes are in italics. me in normal font,

A friend is trying to sell her house, another friend Sarah Hoyt asked Glenn Reynolds of instapundit if she could post the link to the realtors listings to try and help a friend and fellow blogger. He said yes. so the listing is up on Insty and what is some of the response?  Perpend…

“This personal BS is not what I read InstaPundit for, especially when it’s hawking something 3,000 miles away. The professor can get away with it for the InstaWife and the InstaDaughter but I do not care to have it expand into strangers scratching friends’ backs. Buy an ad with your own dime.”

Then by all means don’t read it you douchenozzle. You’re upset?  My heart bleeds purple piss. Here’s a phone card…go call someone who gives a fuck.

“How did this post get through AdBlocker?”

*gibbs slap* Because it’s a post by one of the only other people on the site to ‘have the keys to it’ if you will. why is this so hard to figure out?  Did you get dropped on your head as a child?


Thought I was on Craig’s List there for a second.

Got any friends who sell Amway? You may want to use this blog’s tremendous stock of hard-won good will to flog that, too.”

No…but if you’re gonna be a dick…why don’t you go fuck a knothole in a fence or something. We don’t want you procreating.

“I find it distasteful for you to use the power and credibility of this outstanding InstaPundit blog for your personal real estate pimp.
I am a long time reader and I can’t remember any other guest poster infringing on Glenn’s trademark.
Shame on you.”

Ah…there’s goes someone ASSUMING again.  Also probably projecting.  Did you not stop to think for one minute that if it was done, it was done with Glenn’s permission?  How odd. It says more for your mental state and thought processes than it does Sarah’s willingness to ask Glenn to post it.    Aren’t you late for an HOA meeting you hyperventalating harpy?

The house has been on realtor.com for 277 days. Someone’s obviously getting desperate to flog it. I wonder whether this is “cash for comment,” i.e. someone’s paid Instapundit for ad placement disguised as a real post; or what the story here is.

All you had to do was phrase a polite question to answer and frankly assuming Sarah would take PAY to help someone out, is obnoxiously odiferous.  Knew I stepped in something smelly this morning while mowing the lawn. didn’t know it was you. ewwww.

“Oh noes! Business bad!

You sure you’re on the right website?”

Yep.  You sure you’re not a hooker in in China trying to learn american idioms through the internet?

“I was more offended by that shitbox being called “cute”.”

Opinions are like assholes and you’re being one right now. Have a nice day.

There was far more nice responses than there were cock juggling thunder cunts with delusions of adequacy like the previous examples.   Including a response by my friend to all the thunder cunts. Which I’ll reprint here. In bold since one of the previous assholes was curious…

As the owner of this house, I want to first of all thank Sarah for offering to help generate traffic, and to Professor Reynolds for agreeing to post a link. Trying to sell this house has been an ordeal, and I’m truly grateful there are generous folks out there who are willing to help.

For those of you who are being disgusting, uncharitable, malevolent jerks, let me quickly explain.

The tenants I had living there when I decided it was time to sell the house decided they would sabotage every showing.

I gave them two months to vacate, since they had been violating the lease in numerous ways, but when the deadline came and went, they refused. They squatted in my house for months and refused to pay rent.

When I tried to get immediate possession of my house through the courts, the judge decided to be “fair” to the squatters and allowed them to live in my house rent-free for three months.

When I finally did get an eviction order, they ran off and left a WRECK of what used to be a beautiful home! It took thousands of dollars to fix it. I took it off the market temporarily, so I could mitigate all the damage that these squatters did. I only put it back on the market again at the end of July, but the Realtor site registers it from the time it was first listed, which is why it looks like it’s been on the market for that long.

Since I have no tenants in that house, I’m paying both my rent in the place where I currently live and my mortgage, which amounts to 80 percent of my takehome pay!

So, yes, I need to sell this house. I’m quickly running out of resources. The legal system screwed me by refusing to toss them out and allowing them to basically steal my house for three months without paying rent. And yes, they absolutely wrecked the property on their way out. And yes, Sarah was generous and wonderful in offering to try and generate some traffic, as was Professor Reynolds for allowing her to do so.

So no, this isn’t just an empty advertisement. It was an attempt to help a fellow blogger, and those of you who don’t even know the story behind this fiasco are sure painting yourselves as mercenary, miserly, and mean-spirited. Just what the liberals think most conservatives are!

Way to go!

Like I said. Gotta love instapundit.  Even Mr Insty himself came into this with a ‘what the fuck is ya’ll problem’ post.  Except he phrased it nicer than I did and have.

here’s the post with the hyperlinked listing that soooo offended some of the peanut gallery.

I’ll leave ya’ll to the rest of your sunday.


27 ways to be a WHAT?

Forsooth boys and girls. I’m going to join in the fisk fest of this article and give it the wolf treatment. Meaning…fuck polite.  As Usual my response in italics

27 Ways to Be a Modern Man
Also known as I’m a pretentious prick who will instruct you on how I think you should be to conform to my conformity.  My general response to this whole article is…forsooth…why dost thou not sally forth and molest thyself with an implement of bedroom pleasures basted in the sauce of the Ghost Chile?   IOW Go fuck yourself with a sex toy soaked in ghost pepper sauce nancy boy

Being a modern man today is no different than it was a century ago. It’s all about adhering to principle. Sure, fashion, technology and architecture change over time, as do standards of etiquette, not to mention ways of carrying oneself in the public sphere. But the modern man will take the bits from the past that strike him as relevant and blend them with the stuff of today.

Nay…the modern man lives the way he wants and anyone who doesn’t like it, can go fornicate with a knothole in a wooden fence. I’m guessing by the wincing in your voice you’ve already been doing that…

1. When the modern man buys shoes for his spouse, he doesn’t have to ask her sister for the size. And he knows which brands run big or small.

Fucking seriously? I’m supposed to know my wifes shoe size? A. I don’t have a wife. B. I don’t have a girlfriend. The ONLY sizes I expect me to know, and this is personal choice here…is ring size, preferred necklace length, favorite stone and wrist size because…*shrug* personally I’ve always like to surprise the women in my life no matter who they are…with things that sparkle.. And if you say diamonds I’m going to laugh your silly ass out of the room.  Actually I’ll probably do that anyway. As for knowing which brands run one way or the other?  Helloooo…that’s what they make dressing rooms for, you dull witted poltroon.

2. The modern man never lets other people know when his confidence has sunk. He acts as if everything is going swimmingly until it is.

Well as someone else pointed out…this way leads to trying to suck start your 12ga and that’s bad. Makes you wonder if he wants people who disagree with him to vanish?  If you’ve got problems you talk them out with someone. be it spouse, girlfriend, sister, brother, cousin, parents, shrink your fucking bartender…but..yeah…don’t hold it in and suck start your firearm of choice lads. Ain’t the way to solve the problems.

3. The modern man is considerate. At the movie theater, he won’t munch down a mouthful of popcorn during a quiet moment. He waits for some ruckus.

A? what movies is this moron seeing? He ain’t watching what I normally watch because there’s very little quiet about most of the films I watch. B?  Well yeah there is such a thing as not being a dick in a movie theatre. My own personal pet peeve is assholes with laser pointers. I find myself wondering sometimes if it would be possible to shove them up the owners rectal cavity to try and locate the organ they purportedly think with.

4. The modern man doesn’t cut the fatty or charred bits off his fillet. Every bite of steak is a privilege, and it all goes down the hatch.

No a man eats whatever the fuck he wants you dictatorial little dilittante.  Sometimes the gristle or charred bits are the best bits. You’re eating out? If the food sucks…you complain to the waiter. if that doesn’t work you complain to the management. If THAT doesn’t work you walk the fuck out and spread the word that…Yo dudes these people don’t give a fuck about their customers. Avoid at all costs.   I avoid this by knowing how to cook. I suspect the punctilious  little moron who wrote this could burn water…without turning on the stove.  I’d actually be somewhat surprised to discover otherwise.

5. The modern man won’t blow 10 minutes of his life looking for the best parking spot. He finds a reasonable one and puts his car between the lines.

Noooo…a man parks where ever he so chooses. if he wants to waste time trying to find the closest spot possible…it’s his time to waste and hurts no one….not even himself.

6. Before the modern man heads off to bed, he makes sure his spouse’s phone and his kids’ electronic devices are charging for the night.

Nope this is a failure to be a man, a husband and a father. Why? because cleaning up after everyone else is failing to TEACH that actions or in the case of not making sure your phone is plugged in or fully charged, lack of actions…have consequences. Thereby creating a useless drain on society.  Now it’s nice to be nice to your spouse..I’m not arguing that…just arguing that it’s her damn phone and therefore her responsibility. 

7. The modern man buys only regular colas, like Coke or Dr Pepper. If you walk into his house looking for a Mountain Dew, he’ll show you the door.

*raises an eyebrow* Wait did he really just say something that pretentious and stupid?  *glances at the preceding bits of the article* Neeever mind…this whole article is pretentious and stupid. So much so I wouldn’t even condescend to wipe my ass with it.   A man buys what he wants to drink…he doesn’t worry about other peoples opinions about what he drinks. 

8. The modern man uses the proper names for things. For example, he’ll say “helicopter,” not “chopper” like some gauche simpleton.

Ah our punctilious, pernicious putz is also a word nazi. Big shock. Dude? I said it earlier but it bears repeating….go fuck yourself.

9. Having a daughter makes the modern man more of a complete person. He learns new stuff every day.

Hmmm I’ve got friends and family with daughters…they wouldn’t necessarily disagree. OTOH even a blind squirrel occasionally gets a nut.   I’ll simply expand it to say..I’m not a father…just a doting protective uncle. Therefore…I can say that my nieces, my darling angels…have prematurely greyed my hair. I do not chide them or blame them for this for, forsooth..some women find my grey haired sexiness attractive so verily…I’m getting more attention which makes me a happy wolf.

10. The modern man makes sure the dishes on the rack have dried completely before putting them away.

1?  What? Has this over grown imbecilic child not heard of a ‘new invention’?  It’s already swept the world…it’s called a TOWEL…you can use it to dry your dishes with before putting them away instead of waiting for the dishes to air dry.  Novel concept I know.  2?  There’s another modern invention called…a dish washer!  You just put your dirty dishes in it, put in the dishwasher safe soap of your choice, close it up, press start and voila!  Like magic the machine does all the work for you, including drying the dishes. 

11. The modern man has never “pinned” a tweet, and he never will.

I tweet but very rarely. It’s a lot of fun to watch a wordsmith like Larry Correia school hysterical fools in 140 characters or less though.  Twitter to me is just a back up to contact a couple people if failbook and what not crashes.  Others use it more…to each their own.

12. The modern man checks the status of his Irish Spring bar before jumping in for a wash. Too small, it gets swapped out.

Dude…OCD much? Use the bar til it’s GONE.  Otherwise…why buy soap to wash with simply to throw it away? jesus jumpin h christ pogo sticking across the alps.

13. The modern man listens to Wu-Tang at least once a week.

A man listens to whatever floats his boat and doesn’t give a shit what anybody thinks.  Trying to say your not a man  if I don’t listen to something I think is garbage…is passive aggressive diktat spewing.  Seriously? is this shit the best you got?  

14. The modern man still jots down his grocery list on a piece of scratch paper. The market is no place for his face to be buried in the phone.

Diktat spewing again? Seriously you addlepated fuckstick?  You’re starting to bore me.

15. The modern man has hardwood flooring. His children can detect his mood from the stamp of his Kenneth Cole oxfords.

. you have to wear designer name shoes to stomp on a  custom installed hardwood floor?  To express your displeasure or express your mood?  Cereally?   Dude..You’re not a man, you’re an infant. Which explains a lot actually.  

16. The modern man lies on the side of the bed closer to the door. If an intruder gets in, he will try to fight him off, so that his wife has a chance to get away.

Or better yet so I can reach for my fire arm of choice and shoot the stupid son of a bitch who breaks into my house. Someone does that is asking for a funeral…his own. If you’re wife is the better shooter though…getting in her line of fire might get you killed.

17. Does the modern man have a melon baller? What do you think? How else would the cantaloupe, watermelon and honeydew he serves be so uniformly shaped?

Where does this imbecilic child come up with this shit? Seriously?  You don’t need a melon baller you effete non man. Use an ice cream scoop.  Seriously?  Orrr…you could just eat the melon quarter with a spoon…novel concept I know.

18. The modern man has thought seriously about buying a shoehorn.

No he doesn’t THINK about it at all… he buys a shoehorn if he NEEDS one. Otherwise he doesn’t. again…it’s called personal choice. look it up in the dictionary. You DO know what a dictionary is don’t you?

19. The modern man buys fresh flowers more to surprise his wife than to say he is sorry.

No he TELLS her flat out he’s sorry for…whatever reason is called for and discusses it to try and keep it from happening again. Flowers are gifts to be given upon any special occasion or no occasion at all.  They  are NOT apology placebos you buffoon.

20. On occasion, the modern man is the little spoon. Some nights, when he is feeling down or vulnerable, he needs an emotional and physical shield.

No a man cuddles with his woman in anyway he/they see fit at any given time. Spoon, not spoon. Some good old fashioned canoodling while she sits in your lap.  A nice reverse cowgirl without the sex…which just isn’t nearly as much fun.  Whether he’s the ‘little’ spoon or the big spoon, or neither spoon is up to him and his significant other. Not an insignficant, pugnacious, pustulous little  pissant like you.

21. The modern man doesn’t scold his daughter when she sneezes while eating an apple doughnut, even if the pieces fly everywhere.

Okay, as I said earlier …even a blind squirrel occasionally gets a nut.  Don’t know why he threw this out there. probably just to make his list longer and seem more significant and thoughtful than it actually is.

22. The modern man still ambles half-naked down his driveway each morning to scoop up a crisp newspaper.

The newspaper? who the fuck reads the newspaper the old fashioned way anymore. Seriously?  At $2 a pop for the daily editions and 3 for the saturday and sunday editions most papers are dying on the vine and don’t know it yet. Either that or they REALLY think well of themselves…wrongly.  The only thing I buy newspapers for is kindling for the fire place and for my bbq pits.  Most of the rags that call themselves NEWS papers such as the Yellow Lady..aka the New York Times or “the nit” for short.. You know…the one you’re peddling your pedantic nonsense to? Well, kindling is all they’re good for. Okay and maybe coupons but you can get coupons digitally nowadays without buying the papers so *shrug*

23. The modern man has all of Michael Mann’s films on Blu-ray (or whatever the highest quality thing is at the time).

Michael Mann? who the hell is michael mann? Hang on a second, let us google this person I’ve never heard of[probably for good reason]  Ah okay he was a director on Miami Vice back in the 80’s. outside of that? nada that I’ve heard of.  So yeah I’d rather spend a couple hundred dollars buying all the bond films. This set as a matter of fact. Why I haven’t bought it before I can’t fathom.
50yrs of Bond yessss   Oh and if anyone has a spare grand…Slipstream Collection

24. The modern man doesn’t get hung up on his phone’s battery percentage. If it needs to run flat, so be it.

Yeah that’s great unless at the moment it goes dead you’re on the phone with a relative in a hospital across the country or world on their death bed..dying as they speak to you….  
Or your wife is calling you for an emergency or you are trying to give directions to 911 where you’ve gone over a bridge and are trapped in your car…but hey drowning is FUN! You useless maggot ridden meatsack!  Okay not entirely useless, maggots need to eat too.

25. The modern man has no use for a gun. He doesn’t own one, and he never will.

Seriously? Uhmm…hunting for food for the table. Killing nuisance animals and predators hunting your livestock that are your families livelihood. Killing teh stupid son of a bitch kicking in your door thinking he’s gonna get all sorts of cool free stuff without a fight.  Seriously, you ball- less whiney little child?  Turn in your man card and go back to sucking your thumb while other people run your life for you

26. The modern man cries. He cries often.

Nooo he cries if he WANTS to. 

27. People aren’t sure if the modern man is a good dancer or not. That is, until the D.J. plays his jam and he goes out there and puts on a clinic.

Uh huh. sure. So you’re saying a modern man HAS to dance?  Nope…go fornicate with a porcupine.

Wow…finally we’re to the end of the insignicant list of diktats by a sewage spewing infant. That is all I now return you to your normal routine. And considering the time right now as I finish this…the steak/ribs/brisket/chicken/turkey/burgers/dogs …you just finished cooking on your appropriately man sized fire pits. Have fun ya’ll



Ah diversity…

a friend linked to a blog post they’d run across, called Diversity Panels I’d Like to See.  Okay lets play. mine in italics the original in regular font…..

Generic “diversity panels” are boring.

*shrug*  I wouldn’t know. never been to one. I get enough of the bloviating about diversity from the intarwebz. I yawn through it all. 

I get it: you schedule “Women in Gaming” and “Disability in Genre Fiction” with the best of intentions. You know these are hot topics of discussion in the fandom community right now, and you want your con to add to the conversation.

Hmmmm..I’ll say you don’t really see anything wrong with that and I agree with sentiment that there’s nothing wrong with that…and move on

But these generic panels don’t so much add to the conversation as recap it. It’s impossible to go into a subject as broad as “Race In Science Fiction” in any depth in a one-hour slot, and without knowing how well the audience has educated themselves on the topic, the panelists generally just end up summarizing the background reading.

Race?  Honestly? Who truly cares about race, when there are new species to be imagined up and played with? Anyone overly concerned with this is more than a tad shortsighted for my money.  Besides races is a misnomer, anyway. What most refer to as race/ism…is tribe.  Not to put too fine a point on it..I’d like to find the idiot who coined that word “race” feed him to a handy pride of lions or pack of hyenas. Something in that vane.  It’s caused more confusion, hate and discontent than you can conveniently shake a tree trunk at.

What makes this worse for panelists is that, as members of underrepresented groups, we’re in high demand for this kind of “diversity homework.” We get scheduled for these panels instead of panels on subjects related to our actual expertise or current projects. While folks with more privilege get scheduled for memorable topics that will help them raise their profile and promote their work, we’re stuck explaining Empathy 101 to folks who could just as easily look it up on Tumblr.

All panels are boring or not really germane to someone. It just depends on your own interests and peccadillos. I’d no sooner sit in on a diversity panel than you would[depending on your interests] attend or want to be a member of a panel about…Best caliber/type of firearm  to use for a zombie apocalypse. 

So if ignoring diversity topics completely isn’t the answer, but including diversity programming isn’t good enough either, what’s a programming head to do?

Throw their hands up in frustrations, say ‘to hell with it’ and ignore it?  YEah I know, no ignoring.

The very best thing you can do is make sure you have a diverse concom, especially on your programming and safety teams. A diverse team can help you develop engaging panel topics and recruit underrepresented panelists.

But getting underrepresented people to volunteer when you don’t have many to start with can be tough. Developing panel topics that will actually contribute meaningfully to ongoing conversations about diversity in the SFF community is a good first step.

That’s as it may be but,(there’s always a “but”) when the subjects of the diversity issue at hand make up such an infinitesimal percentage of the make up of your audience, what’s the point in having say [just tossing out a random number here] 1/4-1/3 of your panel programming to a subject, most of your audience could care less about?  It’s been my experience, panels aside that most people could give a damn about anything that doesn’t have something directly related to the subject of the con. Most are there simply to in the case of say a scifi con, to find new authors, get autographs, find cool toys/art and make new friends. 

A good diversity panel doesn’t try to tackle the entire ‘diversity issue’ in a single hour. Instead, choose a more focused topic that will give panelists a chance to share their perspective and experience while grounding the discussion in something concrete, so it’s accessible to an audience that hasn’t necessarily done all their homework.

A good panel is in most cases as entertaining as it is informative. I’ve noticed by and large unless it’s a “how to” writing panel for example…then people are there for the filking, or the amusing anecdotes and theories about particular worlds and characters in them. Or talking about specific meme types within a given book/tv/tv movie series

I asked folks on Twitter for some examples of diversity panels they’d like to see, and we came up with some examples.

Instead Of Disability In Genre Fiction:

  • Accessibility in Futuristic SocietiesWell since speculative fiction tends to speculate hi tech societies where certain diseases and abberations we see in terms of health issues today…will be non existent because they’ll be weeded out of the human genome.
  • Re-Inventing The Wheelchair: Assistive Devices in Science Fiction And FantasyI think that’s probably been covered by and large by movies and books both. float chairs and anti grav belts are the ones that come to mind.
  • Positive Portrayals of Neuroatypicality in Genre Fiction: who’s doing it right and what we’d like to seeAlready noted in the first panel suggestion. One assumes high order society in which we can weed disabilities out of the human genome.
  • Protagonists With Post-Traumatic Stress DisorderMmmm… yeah again…while it won’t be weeded out…if you can assume a higher order society that weeds out the genetic propensities and makers for various diseases…one guesses the genome will be played with to the point that PTSD won’t really be a thing
  • Medicine After The End Of The World: Managing Chronic Conditions and Serious Illness After The ApocalypseIn a post apocalypse world it will be survival of the fittest…most of the chronically ill or disabled, call it 99%  will be among the first to have died in whatever disaster causes the apocalypse. AFTER?  those that manage to survive til after…still wont have that long to live. A..because medics and first responders due to their nature of running TO the fire will also be among the first to die in droves. And if it’s a bio crisis, ie a new plague…you’re going to lose a metric crapton of them in the ensuing waves of death. Unless you imagine some uber rich, super smart parapalegic on a deserted island somewhere complete with a full staff of doctors and small level 4 trauma center/ cardio ward/ etc etc etc as part of their island paradise home.

Instead of Gender In Genre Fiction:

  • Marginalized Perspectives On Mass SurveillanceA little clarification here. I think most would agree mass surveillance is a baaaad thing.
  • Science Fiction and the Future of Childbirth (careful not to be cis-normative!) Okay first off theres subsets to even THIS microcosm.  Are we talking post apocalypse? Post colonization to other planets?  Post apocalypes? Sorry but it’s gonna be cis normative. Men and women will be humping like rabbits trying to restore the human race and the women will be, depending on the enormity of the apocalypse, constantly pregnant.If this reality upsets you…not my problem.  Post colonization to other planets? Outside of having cryoslush children options available *shrug*…it’s gonna be “normative” 
  • Beyond The Boob Window: Practical and Stylish Fighting Clothes For Your Intrepid HeroineBut but…I looove the boob window.  Did you stop to think that one of the reasons FOR the cleavage trap is that it will distract your predominantly male opponents long enough for you to stick a knife in him somewhere fatal? Or put a pulse rifle shot into him and turn his head into blood and brain painting on the wall behind him?   Sadly those who find the boob window evilly sexist never think about that.  Women themselves and popular media have weaponized sexuality in favor of the female of the species for crying out loud.
  • Toxic Masculinity As Villain (h/t @rosefox who suggested I check out the panels they create for Readercon; check out the full panel description here)Went and read that one. Interesting thought but…men tend to be wired the way we are for a reason. The reason being the continuation of  not just our own specific genetic markers and family but the survival of the species. Hence why we don’t like women doing some jobs because those jobs are bloody dangerous. 
  • Saving The World After Fifty: Celebrating Genre Fiction’s Silver-Haired HeroinesHmmm someone else…some…successor will step in to fill their shoes in some cases. But a lot  of the more well loved heroines and heroes will always be well read and popular.
  • Standards of Beauty in Secondary Worlds. Beauty/fashion is always related to a display of wealth. Think past slender and fair.No…not always…or why are thrift/second hand shops so popular?  Heck why are retro fashions so popular. Granted there are some trends I’d rather not see make a comeback [bell bottoms for one but ymmv] but old is becoming popular again. there’s currently a seeming trend back toward the 80s fashions.
  • The Female Gaze Is Coming For You: Romance’s Assault on PatriarchyI’ll say this on this and the panel suggestion after this.
    We;re wired the way we are for a reason. Survival of the species. The only reason you can ignore those genetic imperatives now is because of the huge leap in medical tech we’ve taken in the last 10, 20, 30, 50yrs.  We wouldn’t even be HAVING this conversation is if wasn’t for that. Ignore the genetic imperative at the cost of the species. Lads and Lasses.
  • Men In The Post-Patriarchy: Inter- and Intra-gender Friendships, Collaborations, and Rivalries in Societies that Don’t Dehumanize The FeminineHmmm any of my female readers and friends wanna play with that one?
  • Female Characters In Video Games: What makes a female character fun for women to play?The answer to that one will be as varies as the stars and planets in the night sky.
  • Hell Hath No Fury: Ways To Motivate, Impede, and Change Female Characters (That Don’t Involve Rape)I’ll leave this one for one of my lady friends to respond to.
  • Queer Identities After The Apocalypse: Trans Health Care and Queer Reproductive Choices In Post-Apocalyptic Worlds (h/t Kelly Szpara)covered this. After an apocalypse…survival and re establishment of the species will be the imperative.  Anything that detracts from that imperative will likely be denounced, derided, scorned and rode out of town on a rail.

Instead of Race In Genre Fiction:

  • Marginalized Perspectives On Mass SurveillanceWait didn’t we just talk about that one?  Yep. You booboo’d or got deliberately repetitive on that one.
  • The Future of Racism: The past’s virulent racism against the Irish has now faded to linguistic artifacts like “paddy wagon” and “red-headed stepchild.” What traces will present-day racism leave behind, and what new forms of racism will emerge?Covered already. TRIBE, remember?
  • The Colonialism of FairytalesActually most fairy tales in their original forms..not their romantacized disney versions are dark and dismal as hell. Oh and colonialism vis a vis fairy tales?  That must be some primo pot your smoking. Mind if I have some?
  • Colonialism in Secondary World FantasiesRemember…everything breaks down to tribe.  But again..I’ll let one of my friends run with this one.
  • Describing Race In Secondary WorldsYou are now starting to bore me. Just thought I’d point it out.
  • Religions of the African Diaspora in Genre Fiction: Beyond Zombies and Horror (h/t India Valentin)Hmmm a nice little chunk of them are pretty dark, dismal and animistic…hence the zombies and horrors. 
  • But Where Did This Chocolate Come From? Even Fantasy Cultures Don’t Exist In Isolationmatter creation machines, replicators… ala Star Trek?   Of course if this is a post diaspora because the earth got blown to shit…one wonders whether anyone would actually think to save some cocoa seeds and plants. God I hope so. You hear me future descendants! Save the cocoa plants!  The world would suck zombified donkey dong without it.
  • Creating Imaginary Races Doesn’t Erase Racism: How Real-World Racism Bleeds Into Secondary WorldsOkay now I’m really bored. It’s not race, it’s tribe and in the case of other types of off world “races” It ain’t races…it’s SPECIES.
  • “But Her Race Isn’t Important To The Plot!” and Other Terrible Reasons not To Include Non-White Characters In FictionIt’s not by and large a huge issue…unless you make a mountain out of a molehill. 

More Suggestions:

  • Language, Dialect, and Code-Switching
    Beyond The Hero’s Journey: Non-Western Narrative Structure in Genre Fiction
    Alien Cultures That Don’t Dehumanize: creating original alien societies without portraying real minority races, religions, and cultures as literally not humanthis section of suggestions seems to me to break down into…”Lets change the language and therefore control the conversation. Never mind the original definitions of the words we use that don’t mean what we think they mean. Along with RACISM! You don’t agree with me so it’s RACISM.  I’ll note that if you’re creating entire new species  it is NOT in point of fact..RACISM. It’s simply different SPECIES.
  • Defense Against The Dark Arts: Dealing With Internet Trolls (I give a forty-five-minute talk on how marginalized people can keep themselves safe, and how others can help protect them. Invite me to give it at your con!)Hmmm let me ask you this. I disagree with you so…am I trolling?  That’s what I get from people on the other side of the tribal, ideological gap from me.
  • How to Fail Gracefully: You’re going to make a mistake. Here’s some things that will keep an error from turning into a Fail.
    If you fall and break a leg I don’t think there IS a graceful fluid way to do that. Now doing it with someone good humor and moving on, on the other hand.  Failure allows you to grow. You learn from those errors.  It is simply…life.

Special thanks to Mary Robinette Kowal, K. Tempest Bradford, and Natalie Luhrs for helping me generate panel topics. Feel free to use any of these topics for panels at your cons. I ask only that you be conscientious about who you put on these panels, or any other diversity programming you schedule. Finding people who’ll volunteer for these panels to talk about what great allies they are is easy. If you really want your con to move the conversation forward, make it a priority to seek out and center marginalized voices, and folks who can speak to these topics from their personal lived experience.

Mary and  Tempest in a Teacup herself are two of your advisors?  Well that could and would account for some of the repetitiveness in that panel list.

To my readers? Have fun ya’ll.

lthe URL for the aforementioned article